Monster in my Soul

Not really sure when why or where it began, but somehow I always knew that there was something different that set me apart from the status norm. Then again what is normal anyways?

Is normal fitting in socially?

Is it being paid for telling the world how you raped, robbed, killed, stolen, cheated, lied in the words of a #1 rap/hip hop song which is adored by millions?

Is it having many friends or acquaintances?

I am told I hold my fork & knife differently then the norm, and I don’t eat normally or as an Adult.

I don’t act normally in social settings as I seem to gravitate in the corner of the room…away from the rest of the people.

I am also told because I am not happy, or pretend to be happy by having a smile on.my face, that I am not normal.

I am also told that because I don’t coordinate my clothes that I am not normal.

I react to situations differently then most (or so I’m told) which sets me apart from the norm.

I was never sure why  I said the things that I said, acted the way I acted, why most times I take longer to make a decision than most, and why I separate myself from the rest?

Just what is this monster, this being, this creature, which makes me not.normal?

It has had many names over the years but the current name is Aspergers.

Perhaps this will be my journey into discovering the answer to all the questions, and the reason for the why.  May it help those that come across these words  or just my journey of self discovery, self awareness, in hopes of finding a way to cope. To fit in with the “Norm”.

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